Filthy Notes From Strangers

 

Posted Los Angeles

Alive for 7 days

Total Responses: 314

Face Photos: 166

Penis Photos:15

Other Photos: 25

Virgins: 2

Certified Latino Porn Stars: 1

I used to have a friend who had a REALLY lopsided chest.  Not me, a friend, seriously.  She was in total denial about it until some dude pointed it out.  She got drunk for 3 days afterwards, and swore she would get a boob job.  Hers wasn’t as drastic as the ad posted, but her boobs were the inspiration for this mid-afternoon delight.  Posted on a lunch break, it made me giggle for the rest of the day, I mean week.  It was never yanked, and there were responses that came in 7 days later.  In LA that means these guys were going through THOUSANDS of ads before they got to mine.  Bless the horny.

these odd titties are no oddities,i don’t have a problem. it should even be fun 🙂 i love things that are different. so give me an email back and let’s see if we get along.

I applaud you – excellent posting! Doubt you’d be interested in me – 53 so a bit older. If I’m wrong by all means say Hi.  It isn’t about what size each breast is or any of the other artificial stuff we have made up out of thin air and then judge each other on – it’s insanity. So I could have fun with you and your duo-personna boobs – lol. God gave us what we have for a purpose – all of it – just learning tools on a journey.  Again – kudos on a very nicely handled posting! Cap Long Beach  p.s. – do I get any like, Veteran’s preference points or anything if my nuts are slightly different sizes?????  be well…………

 

Hey there,

saw your post in cl

what you’ve got goin’ on is not at all that uncommon

In fact In college I had a girlfriend with the same thing, and I must admit..It REALLY turned me on…something about the vulnerability she was able to experience because of the lopsided breast thing…not sure…but I’ve been unable to duplicate that experience

and then…along comes your post…that shit is sooo HOT to me…call me freakky deaky..It just gets me hard thinking about it

If you like what you see, get back at me and we’ll go from there

 

 

Well u would be a very interesting woman to meet.  I would actually think its probably kinda of a turn on two different sized breasts.  Guys shouldn’t complain anyways. Both our balls don’t match.

 

my wife has the same thing , send me your picture . I will respond in kind

 

 

I’m twice your age, so realize that…and realize this is not an application I admired your courage in posting your ad.  I guess you already know you are probably going to get some hate mail. And then there are the dummies…lots of em.  I doubt if there is one man in a thousand, reading these posts….that knows what asymmetrical even means.  Anyway, I enjoyed your letter and I wanted to tell you that.  I once enjoyed the attention of a beautiful girl who also had boobs of different sizes.  It made no matter, both for her and myself.  And then there was Terry…she was a girl who made love with me for three weeks with her shoes on!  Finally, after she decided I wouldn’t be laughing …and I wouldn’t be teasing her…she showed me that her little toe…was where her toe next to her big toe was supposed to me…and that toe…was where her little toe was to be.  It was a long time before she would let me suck on her toes during our lovemaking…but she finally relented…and enjoyed the heck out of it. Do you enjoy having your toes sucked?  lol  I also wanted to wish you the best of luck. Mr. D

I hate boobjobs too, I think differnt size boobies are cool my ex-girlfriend has lopsided boobies. I would love to make love to your boobies

Yay two boobies one woman

OK, I would die to see a pic of them,,,

if you have nipples 1 ” or more i am in

 

I would give a weeks salary just to come over and check out mutt and Jeff.  I like ’em big and small, you got the whole package…..Sweet !!!!!!!

 

Well I don’t have different size balls or anything like that, but I would say that your natural tities should say natural. Like you said who wants to have fake hard tities. Now I would like to meet you and see if we can maybe have a little fun … but I don’t send pictures… but believe me I’m tall slender build, very good looking and know what it takes to make a woman feel good. e-mail me back if your interested in meeting up if not… well it’s your loss.  take care and have a great day Here’s something.  If you can’t spell the word “titties,” use a different word.  Shit, shorten it to “tits.”  Hard to mess that one up.  And there’s no need to get all abrasive at the end.  I understand you have to keep your confidence up when reaching out to strangers for sex, but a man that can’t spell is hardly a loss.

The first virgin gets my pity: Maybe we can help each other out.  I’m 25, 6’0 and still a virgin.  Its a long story, but yeah, I’m looking to lose it and it would be great if it was with somebody cool who wouldn’t mind it and would show me some stuff you know.  I know I’ll probably cum pretty quickly, but I’ll probably be ready pretty quickly too.  If you want attention, I can give you that too.  I’ve never even felt a boob.  Anyway, get back to me if you like.

The second one does not: hi….! i wouldnt mind..if you wouldnt mind   im a virgin but i like to mess around…i’ve never penetrated a girl and i don’t plan to any time soon, well i do but i don’t know…so if i send you a pic… you send me a pic? please include a pic. of your breasts…i would love to see them…plz don’t worry i wouldnt laugh..female bodies are presious how ever they cum…… reply no matter what!!plz bye The plz and the lack of plans/want of penetration is concerning.  The plz denotes laziness and adolescence, while the “no penetration” clause implies a religious background that would probably not approve of the craigslist casual encounter.

 

I saw your ad on Craigslist. I should say first that I do think your asymmetric situation sounds hot and I would love to see what you look like. There are very few girls with A cups or D cups, and when I’m with one I sometimes want the other. When I’m with someone in-between, I sometimes want someone flat or someone squishy. So I am being serious about the physical interest. But more importantly I liked how you wrote with humor and grace about yourself, and not just any part of yourself, but a part which you probably feel a little insecure about. It shows a kind of intelligence which seems quite rare in the Craigslist personals, and unfortunately, rare in life in general. I do find that people who are intelligent tend to be relatively attractive, so I believe you when you say you’re kind of cute. As for myself, you can see my general demographic characteristics(cracker, 27) in the pictures here. I moved to Los Angeles in September to take a job with the federal government. It’s only just recently that I’ve begun to acclimatize myself to the point that I won’t want to move back to Northern California when my contract is up. The hours of my job are shorter than they were in private practice, but the downside is that I’ve had to work a lot harder at filling my social life. Anyway, I hope to hear back from you.

 

 

Did you ever consider the average SoCal dweller might not know what a big word like asymmetry means?  It has a prefix and everything…It might actually be fun… getting under your shirt would be like a pinata, full of different kinds of fun.  Is on more sensitive that the other?I’m 6’2″, super gym body, look as pictured, and am basically a blast to be around.  I’m really curious about you now.  Do you have a face pic?  Do write back with one. Does that mean he wants to wear a blindfold and swing bats at my chest?

 

The world is full of good ideas about what to do with them.  This guys name is Dick Syrup.  You heard me.  Dick Syrup. Your boobs are boobarific!  I would love the chance to play a catch with one and pillow fight with the other!  You sound like you’re a lot of fun too.  Question.  Does the smaller boob get you rmore aroused?  And have you ever squirted before? I’m 6ft 155 brown hair hazel green eyes What about the rest of you? DS

NO.  WAY.  Seriously?  Two different size boobs?  I’ve never even heard of that, much less seen it in person.  You’re seeking a guy that will make you love your chest?  I’m your man, yessiree bob.  I love titties, big and small, but only the real ones. So, do you pad the A to match the D, or strap down the D to match…man, so many questions!  What kind of bra can you possibly wear?!  Do you buy two different sizes and cut them in half, then sew’em back together?  I must know! Oh, and which one is the D?  I’m hoping it’s the left, because I’m more of a left boob man, actually. Heh.  I’m kidding.  It doesn’t matter, I suppose. I’m 5’11, 33, a fit 200 lbs, and live in the valley.  Pics are attached, so if you’re still looking, I’d love to hear from you.  You sound like a pretty cool chick, with or without the unique melon situation.  And for the record, near as I can tell both of my balls are the same size.  Just putting it out there.

I gotta tell you, I almost pissed myself when I read that limerick. I thought my dad taught me all the good ones already. Here’s a picture of me, just so you’ll read this email and know someone out there appreciated it. =)

 

He met her for boobies but he was astounded
She wasn’t a floozy he wasn’t confounded
The choice that she gave him filled up his long bone
Til the cream whipped like froth and jetted on home
And her wondrous body their desires surrounded
Wonderful Post!!  Male Valley 6’2  195 green eyes brown hair open tolerant cool smart sweet smell good filled with fetish(es) Massage therapist for a bonus:-)

 

 

To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective,

“Can it be that my eyesight’s defective?

Has your east tit the least bit

The best of your west tit,

Or is it a trick of perspective?”

I like that one.

 

 

So, at this point in our week, we’re six days in.  It’s 7:10 AM six days later.  So the guys that are responding are really digging.  Again, there’s gotta be thousands of ads to go through to get to this one.  It should be buried, but they keep finding it. One of my legs is a tad bit longer then the other leading me to some asymetry, although not as dramatic or interesting as your own case.I am short fat and ugly, but if you can get beyond all that, a pretty decent and sweet guy. I am employed, financially secure and enjoy meeing new people. Have you had much luck with the fellas on here in the past, or is this your first time posting to CL?I look forward to hearing from you, nad now a parting limerick…
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his money in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan
Ran off with her man
And as for the bucket…
Nantucket

Well, not being one to let it go, I had to let this one know he had screwed up that particular poem.  So I responded: “I thought it was…

There once was a man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin,

as he wiped off his chin,

If i had a vagina I’d fuck it!”

And of course was met back with: Well I think in this case we are both right…but then so much happens to that man from Nantucket. But if that man from Nantucket had a cutie like you I am sure he would have had no need to lament about his lack of a vigina…take my plumber friend for example…
There was a young plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said stop your plumbing,
I think someone’s coming, said the plumber still plumbing “its me”!
On that thought, do you have a photo of yourself to share? He spelled vagina wrong?  Don’t mean to be a ninny about spelling, but c’mon.  That means he pronounces is Vi-Gina (soft i, hard i)  instead of vuh-gina like the rest of us.

So, I have been looking for a fantasy woman who could double as two – Anyway, I like your poem and what you wrote and am looking for the same thing. So, if you are interested, I could be your guy- And if there is chemistry – Who knows… It could be great 🙂 My name is Ross; and I lam 34 years old, 5’11”, 195#s with an athletic build and I work as a High School Counselor. A bit of a hygiene freak, so I smell great from head to toe – When you work with kids you understand the importance of this.  I tend to be very sexual, upbeat and fun with a bit of a wild side and am looking for someone who can keep up and is very passionate. …..Anyway, if you think we might have fun together and want to chat I look forward to talking – Have a great morning and let me know if you want to talk. So the Monday-Friday guy was up and early on a Sunday morning.  Wait, did he just say “When you work with kids you understand the importance of this.” and then follow it with “I tend to be very sexual”??????? I do not want my high school counselors to be “very sexual.”

 

They wound down, the last few trickled in.  And finally, the hate that had been predicted up top finally showed up. You know I don’t need this shit your doing, I can go across the border and get a 1000 girls on any given night to fuck my brains out for less that I can take you out to dinner. So whats with the breast thing and no pic. Do I really need to know about your breast or is it that your so self conscience that you have to tell me. If I am getting my world rocked I really don’t care if you have breast or not, whats the difference from a Accup to a D cup. You can only put so much in you mouth and the most sensitive part is the size of a half dollar. That was the whole email.  The entire thing.  Why’s he so mad?  I’m gonna guess that maybe his mom had lopsided boobs.