President’s Day: The Greatest of All Holidays

obscure presidents’ day celebration – w4m

nothing makes me hornier than the FORMER presidents of our fine country. in their honor, i’m going to excercise my right to screw. what’s the catch, you ask? well, i’ve been doing character work lately with my improv class, so i would totally dig it if you would pick your favorite obscure former president, and i’ll coordinate as the first lady, and we can get down to what presidents day is all about. i’m talking full costumes, real shit. i’ll pick it up in the morning…

so tell me, which one would you be? and why?

do some research.

the more obscure the better. woo me.




Posted Los Angeles

Alive for 8 hours and 45 minutes on the third shift, posted twice.

Total Responses: 117

Face Pictures Attached: 27

Dick Pictures: 4

Pictures of Presidents:2

Other: 4


To me, this is an especially inspired ad. I asked for brains. And the pleasant surprise was actually getting a bunch of smarts… I asked for an essay, and knowing that the same ones that sit in front of the television watching the history channel are the same ones seeking “something” via the internet, I got exactly what I asked for.

It was the first time I had asked for non physical  gifts (   The ads would fluctuate towards the brainy from here on in. I was starting to fall in love with the belief that there was somebody on the other side of the wifi that would prove me wrong. That’s all I was hoping for, somebody who was smart and pretty and cool and a total fluke.

So, here’s my idea of cool. Howard Taft. One guy got Taft. Just one. Oh boy…Howard Taft had a customized bathtub made for the White House. I’m just going off of some tour I remember when I was 12 but why not. 22 in WestHollywood, good looking and semi-inebriated so why the hell not. Semi-inebriated indeed. Me too.

Millard Fillmore. I think he qualifies as obscure.. Why? Because nobody liked the poor bastard. He went from VP to President when Taylor died, never got nominated for the election, and again in 1856 he failed to get the nomination. Plus, you know, you promised bonus points for obscurity and I think Fillmore is the most obscure president ever… I want to collect on those bonus points! 😉 I’m a big fan of Teddy Roosevelt, more than Fillmore but… You said obscure and the Roughrider doesn’t count as obscure ;(


I’ll be Millard Fillmore. This president’s name reminds me of miller draft and the last name, you get the idea. This president is sure to fill more than the other presidents. I’m sure he always had a good time back in his tenure as president. How about it? Send me a face pic and some more info about yourself.


I’d be John Quincy Adams. Why? Well, because I live in Massachusetts where he was from (long story why I’m responding to an LA craigslist post), and because I am drunk off my ass right now and he is the only former president I can remember right now. You freaking rock, though. You rock because that is the coolest fucking post I’ve ever seen, and you rock because I would love to cum all over that abdomen of yours. It being Massachusetts and all, it’s already 2:40 AM. And be being drunk and all, I’m pretty fucking close to passing out. If you are at ALL interested in hearing anything I have to say, you better fucking respond soon or I’lll be passed out. I don’t usually say “fucking:” this much. It took me like fucking twenty minutes to type this message.


William Henry Harrison He was one of our only former-teacher Presidents. He decided to be macho and walk down Pennsylvania avenue to the White House during his innagural. He died of pnemonia 30 days later… I could sniffle and sneeze while I lick and pound you to a chain of mind-blowing orgasm (that is.. before I cum into the oval office). I hope you will become the first First Lady to serve as Chief of Staff



William Henry Harrison died within a month of being president… but I don’t think I shall choose him… He was also the oldest president… James Garfield was also tempting… but who wants a last name that sounds like a cat?… I think Calvin Coolidge would be my choose of president. His last name is cool. He didn’t do much noteworthy stuff during his presidency but reduce government and he is famous for being silent while is wife was very outgoing… He reminds me of me in an obscure sense… I hope you wouldn’t mind me being Calvin Coolidge and you can be his wife Grace… By the way I am 20 brown hair blue eyes 175lbs 6’0″. I hope you would like to play


I would be Calvin Coolidge because he is pretty obscure and has a cool last name. And because of this. Both his dry Yankee wit and his frugality with words became legendary. His wife, Grace Goodhue Coolidge, recounted that a young woman sitting next to Coolidge at a dinner party confided to him she had bet she could get at least three words of conversation from him. Without looking at her he quietly retorted, “You lose.” I’m 18 so i dunno how you feel about that big of an age gap, but i liked your ad so i thought it would be fun to do anyways.



Warren G. Harding. Why?…Because President Harding is NOTORIOUS for his sexual encounters in and around the white house during his years in office. It would only be fitting for what you have in mind for President’s day. What say you?


I would like to do you as warren harding. He was considered a very handsome man. He was rumored to have west African blood. This would help tie my large penis into our presidential fantasy. As a senator he was a huge proponent of women’s sufferage. This shows he probably cared a great deal about women and went down on women with great ferocity. Again, this would help tie in my great acumen as a master cuntilingus-smith to our performance. Look forward to hearing from you. I’m off tomorrow and have my monicle ready. You have your presidential knee pads ready. I will try not to die of pnemonuea unless you think that would be sexy. So pick me…woo-hoo.


“Dead Presidents: A Love Story” I would choose the only president two serve 2 non-consecutive terms. Yep, Grover Cleveland (#22 &24). He married Frances Folsom in the White House. He had support from Demos and reform-oriented Repubs called “Mugwumps.” Oh, and he was opposed to Womens Rights and campaigned against that cause in 1892 (he won the presidency that year). About Frances, she was the youngest 1st Lady at 21. Grover was 49. Woah. So, if you wanna go, go Grover. Hell, I could even throw in a game of “Near and Far.”Peace @ 130 mph! Mark —I am a Cat Wrangler—



HI. I love your post. First I just finished an improv class tonight. So I know what you are talking about. Or at least I would if it weren’t twisted. The funny thing is that I am also a history buff and politics fanatic, so I know my presidents and get offon politics, so to speak. I don’t think your post can be real. It seems too out there. But if you want to talk further, I am definetly your man. How would Teddy Roosevelt have dealt with Iraq? He’s probably the president I most need to talk to right now. He started a war on false pretenses, I believe. Spanish-American war was started because the Spanish sunk one of our commercial ships, but in fact they did not. Anyhow, I am a bright sexy guy. And I feel like flirting so lets chat on yahoo messenger or phone or cam. And then we’ll see.



Hello, my name is Kal …I”m 23, from the South Bay. Hmm.. Presidents..Well, I’d have to say Teddy Roosevelt.Not only did he have the bully pulpit and build up the U.S. naval fleet, but he was a general badass, while also keeping his humility. He made the most national parks than any other president even wile congress hated him and was almost entirely of the opposite party… he even was able to make the grand canyon a park when congress wouldn’t let him, so instead he made the walls a national monument, and the floor a wildlife reserve. He used the phrase ‘Speak softly, but carry a big stick”.. which I do, and I have.. ;-)He also used the word “poppy cock”, which is an awesome word, and he’s also the first President to have his voice recorded. He was a total badass to the fucking end.. for example, he was on a train once to go give a speech and they made a stop on the way, but while there, he was shot in the chest. However, he wanted to die like a man, so he didnt let them take him to the hospital, instead, they went to the speech rally, he delivered an awesome powerful speech with a bullet in his chest, and finished, then went to the hospital, and he fucking survived. He was also a good natured man because he was hunting once with the press tagging along (sound familliar) and he LOVED to hunt, however, when I bear cub came along, he put down his gun and refused to shoot it because it was only a cub. And that is the story from whence we get the “Teddy Bear” after Teddy Roosevelt. He also wore cool round glasses.So, TR was pretty much the most badass, rebel, powerful, forceful, and accomplished President we’ve had. In fact, after his Presidency he tried to enlist in WWI, but Wilson wouldn’t let him because he thought he would come back a war hero, and then get elected again, which he didn’t want. He also ran for President later under the Moose party, but lost. I blame the name…So yeah, TR is who I’d go with, lemme know what you think! I like the passion, but his picture belied the smarts. It was shiny and bumpy, let’s just leave it at that.


I’ll be president Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Seeing that he was restricted to a wheelchair- you can basically claim that he had “no legs”. You know what they say once you’ve had sex with a man with no legs you’ll keeping coming back for more.

In honor of the creepiness that is Craigslist, I propose to dress as James Buchanan, the bachelor President (and likely homosexual), while you adorn yourself as Harriet Lane, the orphan niece whom Buchanan entrusted the post of first lady. Buchanan was in office through 1861, so we’re looking at some basic civil war-era costumes – a thick wool suit with a cravat and shoes with buttons for me, some kind of plain dress with a big floppy hat for you. Most importantly, in order to embrace the verisimilitude, we need someone to dress as William King, the former Vice President who was Buchanan’s bedmate and putative homosexual lover for five years. This could produce an interesting triangle, particularly if we chose to go down the extremely sick Craiglist-esque path of insinuating some kind of attraction between Buchanan and his niece. Or, an equally interesting and perhaps more likely alternative would be to have King serve as an uncomfortable presence in the midst of a tense asexual dynamic between a closeted gay man and his brother’s sister, in which we would sit quietly, drink tea, and feign our way through many awkward silences. HOTT STUFF!


Woodrow Wilson is my choice -not an obscure choice but underrated compared to Lincoln, FDR, Jefferson etc – but much was accomplished under Wilson’s terms.

victory of the allies in WWI

regulation of tax system

restricting of unfair business practices

restriction of child labor

women’s right to vote

He also liked the ladies, since he had 2 wives – Ellen and Edith. I guess mainly I choice Woodrow because when would you ever have the chance to scream out “Woodrow” in your life : )



If some guy wants to do Woodrow Wilson, DON’T let him! He’s the one who had a stroke through most of his presidency and you as Mrs. Wilson will end up having to do all the work. I’m just saying….Have fun, babe!


Chester A. Arthur presidents don’t get much more obscure than him I mean, the guy was never even elected and a true politcal scumbag too soon as he was elected, he shunned his old cronies and became a fashion plate guy was a firm believer in the spoils system porkboy through and through he’s my pick and yours too, I hope…


I have to give you credit for the most unusual craigslist ad! OK….going to have to pick gerald ford……why? 100 years from now he will be regarded as nothing more than the guy who pardoned nixon……you can be betty ford and pop pills mid, and I can trip over the carpet and land face first into your pussy! plus hes freshly dead so what better way to honor him? me- 5-8, 165, 37, clean, D&D free, nicely endowed with 7″+ and I love to eat pussy! if you like my pic and my choice of presidents give me a hollar!

i suggest some serious rough sex between george h. w. bush and barbara where we end the date by tying your tubes or snipping something of george’s. yeah, it might suck for us, but think of the good we would be doing society by preventing the birth of george w. we’d be more popular than jesus. now, if that doesn’t make you hot…


George W. Bush. Yeah, I can’t stand the guy, but this is the first time that I figured he’s been screwing me for the past 7 years this could actually be the first time I would actually enjoy it. Thanks for the creative inspiration. Happy President’s Day.


Now here’s the greatest thing ever. I know it’s long, but it’s amazing that somebody’s secret passion was so tapped into so completely. Dear Soon-To-Be First Lady, I find your post on Craigslist absolutley fascinating, since I am something of an amateur historian, I thought about your post and decided on 1 Presidents, and 1 Vice-president. President: James Monroe 5th President of the United States-Elected at age 58, Monroe was a veteran of the War for Independence, he had fought at Trenton, 2-time governor of Virginia, then senator. Appointed Ambassador to France, he helped engineer the Louisiana Purchase, Secretary of War at the end of the War of 1812, and Secretary of State before the presidency. His 8 year term as President was later called “The Era of Good Feeling”, was President when the Missouri Compromise was declared making Maine and Missouri states in the Union, developed industry in the Northeast, during his term American recognized the independent republics of Mexico, Brazil, Chile, and Argentina. Declared the Monroe Doctrine, saying to the European powers, keep your hands off the Western Hemisphere, the continents of North and South American are no longer to be considered lands to be colonized by the European Powers. Was so popular he recieved 231 out of 232 electoral votes in the election of 1820.

His wife: Elizabeth Kortright Monroe Romance glints from the little that is known about Elizabeth Kortright’s early life. She was born in New York City in 1768, daughter of an old New York family. Her father, Lawrence, had served the Crown by privateering during the French and Indian War and made a fortune. He took no active part in the War of Independence; and James Monroe wrote to his friend Thomas Jefferson in Paris in 1786 that he had married the daughter of a gentleman, “injured in his fortunes” by the Revolution. Elizabeth was beautiful, and love was decisive. They were married in February 1786, when the bride was not yet 18. In 1794, Elizabeth Monroe accompanied her husband to France when President Washington appointed him United States Minister. Arriving in Paris in the midst of the French Revolution, she took a dramatic part in saving Lafayette’s wife, imprisoned and expecting death on the guillotine. With only her servants in her carriage, the American Minister’s wife went to the prison and asked to see Madame Lafayette. Soon after this hint of American interest, the prisoner was set free. The Monroes became very popular in France, where the diplomat’s lady received the affectionate name of la belle Americaine.

For 17 years Monroe, his wife at his side, alternated between foreign missions and service as governor or legislator of Virginia. They made the plantation of Oak Hill their home after he inherited it from an uncle, and appeared on the Washington scene in 1811 when he became Madison’s Secretary of State. Elizabeth Monroe was an accomplished hostess when her husband took the Presidential oath in 1817.She and her daughter Eliza changed White House customs to create the formal atmosphere of European courts. Even the White House wedding of her daughter Maria was private, in “the New York style” rather than the expansive Virginia social style made popular by Dolley Madison. A guest at the Monroes’ last levee, on New Year’s Day in 1825, described the First Lady as “regal-looking” and noted details of interest: “Her dress was superb black velvet; neck and arms bare and beautifully formed; her hair in puffs and dressed high on the head and ornamented with white ostrich plumes; around her neck an elegant pearl necklace. Though no longer young, she is still a very handsome woman.” In retirement at Oak Hill, Elizabeth Monroe died on September 23, 1830; and family tradition says that her husband burned the letters of their life together They had a very passionate relationship, and pictures I have seen of her show her to be a very attractive brunette with a pale-ivory complexion and beautiful features.If you want a VP, you can’t go wrong with Aaron Burr and his wife Theodosia Aaron Burr was Americas first professional politican-he created New Yorks center of political power-Tammany Hall and organzied newly arrived immigrants into voting blocs. He was for a long time the most powerful politican in New York City, and ruled the city as if he was a beloved mayor. Burr was a hero of the Revolution-he cut off a mans arm with his saber as the man tried to shoot him-and fought bravely at the Battle of Quebec, served at Valley Forge, and fought to the point of heat exhaustion and near death at the Battle of Monmouth. He was the greatest lawyer in New York in his time. Burr was the lawyer of choice for New Yorks most powerful families. His grandfather had founded Princeton University A genius in politics, a lover, a fighter, brilliant and flawed. “Genius enough to have made him immortal, and unschooled passion enough to have made him infamous.” President Woodrow Wilson on Aaron Burr. He could have become President, since he tied Thomas Jefferson in the election of 1800, but since the two men had agreed to run as a ticket, with Jefferson in the top spot, Burr conceded his votes in New York-which he practically owned-to Jefferson, giving him the presidency and claiming the Vice-Presidency for himself. While VP he killed former Secretary of the Treasury and fellow hero of the Revolution-his political rival and hated enemy Alexander Hamilton in a duel and was indicted for murder. Burr later was put on trial for treason, when he tried to form an army to conquer Mexico and lands outside the Louisiana Purchase and make himself Emperor. His wife Theodosia was older than him, but he cared for her passionatley, he had been a great womanzier before he met her, but she was all he needed and loved her greatly, when she gave birth to thier only child, a daughter, she died and Burr was so overcome with grief he named his daughter after his wife, naming her Theodosia. I am making a documentary about Vice-Presidents, so I know this, would love to talk and do more with you about all this tomorrow, if possible. Want to see pics of me and/or my doc? Yes he did. Yes. He. Did. The effort and thought that was carefully constructed in the attempt to live out a dream is certainly admirable. I almost fell in love, and then I remembered…it’s all for the sake of fucking a stranger. In costume. On President’s Day. *