The Golden Hour of Insertion OR How to Fit an Entire City in your Vagina

 

Twat? I can’t hear you. – w4m 26

Tired of penis. Hard-ons cum and go. Unfortunately, I still like men. So my challenge to what i assume are the “fine men of the Craigslist Casual Encounters” section is to name what else you would put inside me. The best, most creative answer from a hottie wins. Winner gets to put it inside me. I’m automatically dismissing the answers of “my tongue, my fingers, a cucumber, my remote so you can change channels when you cum” as I’ve already had those. Give me something new, inspire a new age of insertion.

So, send a pic and your answer to the eternal question “What would a hot 26 year old like inside her?”

Stats

Posted Los Angeles

Alive for 4 hours 1 minute, posted in the evening

Total Responses: 149

Face Pictures: 73, 14 of them from one guy

Penis Pictures: 13

Other Pictures: 19

Men who answered with some form of “my cock”: 14

Men who answered “Ice cubes”: 6

Fists: 5

Men who wanted a stranger to mount the gear shift of their car: 3

 

The glory! Oh the GLORY!! Ask and ye shall receive became my new motto. This one was put out 5 days after we started. I realized that you had to prompt the “fine men” by asking for specifics. And they gave and gave and gave. The answers ranged from the obvious items, whatever was laying next to them, to the existential. But most of them were grabbing at straws. It is a contest of sorts, who can be the charming, witty “winner” of no strings attached pussy. So with that said, let the game begin.

The short answers were amusing.

My girlfriend’s tongue. & my sweet cock in your mouth. I hope that’ll do?

How about a flash light? I mean a large one.

A can of Cheese-It spray cheese.

sonicare toothbrush can you handle it?

my refferees whistle. so that if there’s anything foul down there I’ll know! Ba Ha ha…

you need to feel the purity of an arrowhead ,5L plastic bottle

20-6 year olds

mmm, a mobile phone, computer mouse, ipod, corona,

I could try my head?

a bowling pin

how about a straw so i could blow in it, lol?

put a water hose in there

A popsicle…..

hey what about a hockey stick

I would slice an orange and stuff it in your pussy so we can make orange juice when you cum..

yabba dabba do

Then this came in… I want to put my fleshlight inside you and then have sex with it For those who are unaware of what a fleshlight is, let me explain. Imagine a cylinder made of silicone/rubber/latex/whatever about 10 inches long and pink. At one end it’s closed, and at the other lies a fake vagina. So it’s kind of a fake pussy tube for dudes to jerk off in. So the offer is pretty redundant, you want to put a fake pussy in a fake ad for pussy. I happen to know that there’s about 4 dudes who try every day to get straight dudes to come make love to their fleshlight. It’s weird.

 

There were 2 requests for bongs, humorous given the pussy bong ad that had just been posted. How about a pussy bong I have a pusys bong that is put into the pussy and then then the guy blows gently the smoke swirls inside your pussy…..then you push and the smole and pussy fragrance whisk out into my mouth,,,,,,,I ca share the smoke with you and you can taste your pussy I am sure you receive a hundred emails so let me know if I peak your interstest. Good Luck.

 

Whipped Cream! My last girlfriend loved it. That sudden rush of cold when I pushed on the nozzle and sprayed it inside her, then the feeling as it slowly melted and dripped out. Well Jeff, most men don’t want women who have creamy liquid dripping out the old yoo hoo. And the dairy up there sounds like there’s a yeast infection waiting to happen, and if not candida, then salmonella.

 

hello. how about i put a nice king size snickers in ur pussy so it will give me some candy to eat when we are finished. i have pictures if ur interested.

 

ice cream, hot fudge, and fresh baked cookies! and i mean that. if you respond ill give you a pic, and if you come over ill have what you want inside of you. Haha hit me back if it sounds good tim mmmmmm chocolate. But, hypothetically, let’s say my vagina was anorexic. That would be a bummer of a date. I can say for some certainty that it’s at least bulimic…whatever goes in there has always come out.

 

skittles… how many do you think you could fit? i guess we’d have to try to find out… just packing them in… ill eat them right out of your hole as i eat you out… Because I’m kind of an asshole, and I like to make myself giggle, I couldn’t resist. “Taste the Rainbow” I wrote back. so darling, does that mean i win? because i can taste it already… by the way, the skittles come with a full body massage…

 

If your into big and thick I believe you would love to try a hickory farms summer sausage. The big Christmas ones. I have always wondered every time I see them in the store how would that make a chick feel if that was put in her pussy.

 

how about puting sushi or raw fish filet in and having me eating the whole combo. if not ill put warm hot dog and let me eat it like im eating like real hot dog on the bun. if not then this is my favorite kinky: any hard shots and pour in your “the inside” shake it and pour into my mouth and clean it good, or maybe popsicle, candy bar, or my foot will be done “the inside”…

 

 

hey baby girl…..i love to explore…….so do you obviously…..so i’m sure you’ve done the basics…… cucumber/banana/toys/bottles. i enjoy using all of that but also candles, shampoo bottles, toothbrush holders, baseball bats arent for all women but a pretty amazing…….lava lamps that are on but not too?

 

How about the long end of a shi-shi. It is a wooden club used to strengthen your wrists. While I use it to keep my hands strong for baseball, it was born of the martial arts.

 

I have a boxing glove statue that is really smooth and would slide easily into that hot pussy of yours. It’s fairly big so it would be a stretch but a lot of fun if you are up for it. Chad

 

 

A baseball, softball, or the edge of a football that I can gradually thrust into your pussy… while my cock keeps your mouth busy. You like?

 

Hi, I don’t know about you, but i’d love to stuff a barbie doll up your wet pussy. It may hurt and I’m sensitive to those kinds of things so, second choice would be a romantic thick scented candle, lit on the opposite side of course. Otherwise, we could take a trip to target together, for our first date, and find something, i’m sure. you sound like fun. I was never allowed a Barbie doll when I was a kid. Now might not be the time to start playing with them.

 

male in montebello. I would love to stick a back of a happer in you pussy I had to know, so I asked. Turns out, the back of a happer is the back of a hammer. I’m pretty sure he meant the claw end. As if this shit needed prying open.


This one was titled The best thing I can think of is fullfillment

Whether it be the fullfillment of a unique fantasy, a want or desire? Who knows? The only one that can truly answer that is you. The rest of us would just be guessing. So I think the best answer to your question is a question in itself. I’d like to help you explore this question so you can answer it properly. I’m 35 6’4 195 lbs + very giving in all aspects of life. Perhaps we should get together and see if we can’t “insert” whatever it is you’re truly looking for. It’s obviously not just a tongue, peins dildo or whatever, but something much more profound. I am a television editor and writer. Your ad was intriguing to me so I thought i’d respond. Either way -sex or not I’d like to meet you someday because you sound quite interesting. if so fantastic. If not – I wish you the best of luck with your insertion. Here are a few pics so you know woh you’re chatting with. Good luck and Good night, Mike (rich is my nickname)

 

The metaphysical theme continued: Simple. The essence of me. My flesh. My blood. My power. My longing. All that inside you and you will burst. Doubt it.

 

though i have attained enlightenment…i have also attained the power to transfer this enlightenment. a 26 year old would like the answers to her questions, something she can make sense of….thus i will start a new age of insertion by inserting my enlightenment…. reviving and enlightening the world…..one vagina at a time P. S. to cast a limitation of age is to cast a limitation on a chance for enlightenment –L

Oh enlightenment.

Oh please send out your final list. I’m just so wondering what people will say.

 

I have a StarWars Pez dispenser of Darth Vader. I want to put it inside you. Let me know what you think :) PS: maybe you can serve me Pez from your vagina!

 

how about my dog? i have a nice clean white pit bull who loves pussy! let me know if interested

 

What what I put in a hot 26 year old besides my strapping cock? Hmm, how about the gift…that’s right, the gift of life…the gift of…a small child! Bet you haven’t heard that one. Yes! Hooray baby time! I’ve always wanted one, so why not do it this way?

 

And lastly, the one I almost answered. He was cute. I’m tempted to say WTF kind of post is that!? But, instead, I suggest inserting this toy George W. Bush doll that I have. We’ll call it symbolism.